Hello everyone! I have been waiting so long to finally write about self-love and now, there’s no turning back. This post is quite personal and there’s no way I am bragging in any forms or any means plus, the ways how I cope with lack of self-love may or may not be applicable to others.
HOW CAN I EVER LOVE MYSELF?
Sometimes, I stare at the mirror and notice a big mess in front of me. Everything looks so stressed— my eyes, hair and even my skin. One time in junior high school, my eyes got red because of an eye allergy and back then, I have no glasses to hide it and some people would look at me and would notice my eyes, and they look away. I think that was the first time I became so conscious of my looks and after that whole incident, I pretended that my head was aching so I just bowed myself to sleep in my armchair that time. I hated myself that time, really.
Another situation, this is the first time I am actually saying this but I was really ashamed by the gap in my teeth before. I can’t smile and talk to people confidently because of my teeth— I always thought they would judge me and so I waited for months until I finally got braces. Getting braces actually boosted up my confidence but how I wish, I learned to love myself and have confidence even before getting braces. + now that I have it, I thought it actually didn’t matter at all.
Another one, I was shy to meet new people and text back to guys (or even talk to them personally!). I almost had an actual relationship when I was in the 8th grade (so young, I know), but the guy got pissed off me because I wasn’t talking to him personally and I only kept on talking through chat. Basically, we’re in a relationship in chat and he didn’t want that. Endpoint, we fell apart.
I was so shy, so anxious and I freaking hate myself. I hate that I have existed because of this looks but little by little, I have learned to build up my confidence and started to love myself.
I realized that those people who looked at me maliciously wasn’t the people who really mattered at all. I realized that there will always be imperfections to everyone and we really just have to embrace everything. I realized that happiness, confidence and self-love doesn’t depend on people who like you because you have to be something else, but because of the people who makes you, you. I have found amazing friends who were always so supportive and the ones who will never leave you hanging.
When I was hating myself, I have also thought of my family who loves me SO much they’d give anything to make me happy, and it hurt me. It hurt me to think that they are so ready to love me when I can’t love myself and so it made me strive. Little by little, I realized that I was slowly appreciating myself and the happiness I was feeling before became more and more happy, and the best part is that it is genuine.
HOW? (WE HAVE DIFFERENT WAYS OF COPING WITH THIS MATTER, BUT HERE ARE THE THINGS THAT HELPED ME TO ATTAIN SELF-LOVE)
1. I have said this many times already, but the way you perceive things will change you and your perceptions. Always look for the brighter side when everything is so dark already— practicing this mindset will set you free.
2. Start writing. Journalling always help or you can literally just write anywhere even in a scratch of paper how you are feeling to release it— you have to release your emotions because when you don’t, it will all pack up and lead to worse things!
3. Try embracing the real YOU. Don’t forget that you are worthy enough that you are here in this world and don’t also forget that you are not born to please everyone. Eventually your true friends will stay by your side!
4. Think about the ones who love you. As I’ve said, family. They think about you always and wonder if you are doing okay. They appreciate you and will accept you for whoever you are so go ahead, girl, love yourself!
5. Don’t ever think that self-love is selfish. Self-love is not and will never be selfish. Honestly, you have to love yourself first before you could even love others.
This post has been heavy for me to write because I haven’t been loving myself for the past few weeks and now that I have finally admitted it, my emotions felt at ease. It doesn’t mean that I’m okay in an instant but I know I can apply the tips I gave because I have done it before— and I am claiming it right now, I am loving myself because I am me and I will empower a lot more people!
Don’t forget, self-love is not selfish!
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you learned or realized something in this post. I am thankful that you are here reading this post and may you have a happy Wednesday!